The one where she explains it all

Little miss consistency ….gave up?

Hiiiii there. I’m Dai and I made some big promises in January and then didn’t follow through.

Okay, I promise I will let you know exactly what has happened, and it will be long, but before I do that let’s look back at January me, who was TOTALLY kicking butt.

In January yo girl was kicking names and taking butts. Take a look at all that I accomplished:

Goal #1: Get a title change and 2 raises by December.

Progress: Got a Raise 3 months into my new job!

 

Goal #2: Level up where we live by living in a space that gives us the tools we need to succeed in our careers.

Progress: Moved to a 3 bedroom apartment in a complex with bomb ass amenities like conference rooms and a sky deck.

 

Goal #3: Launch my notebook company by April/May

Progress: Found a manufacturer! Now just need to raise the funds in order to launch!

 

Goal #4: Lose 73 pounds by December

Progress: Lost 8 lbs in Jan!

 

Goal #5: Give at least 2 speeches/talks

Progress: Gave one speech! I was asked to give a speech at the college I went to!

 

Goal #6: Travel/explore more

Progress: Booked a flight to Italy along with hotels and activities. Have plans for Vegas, Big Bear, and Seattle in the works.

 

Goal #7: Pay off 20k debt

Progress: paid off $7,000 in Jan.

 

Goal #8: Put on a Misfits production that showcases a new writer

Progress: Signed a new writer and production is underway! We hope to open the new show in May!

Okay So at the end of January I decided to do a recap of all the stuff I had accomplished that were in reference to my goals for all the months of the year. I haven’t done February’s yet and there were things on my goal list that I didn’t work on or do, like follow the miracle morning every day.

At the end of January, I started feeling REALLY crappy. We were moving and so the house was a mess and we were constantly working and then coming home and then packing so things felt busy, to say the least.

I was tired ALL THE TIME, but boy did we have a blast crushing some goals.

Then everything changed one fine February midnight when I decided to pee on a stick.

That’s right… I’m pregnant!

It’s still REALLY early to be telling people, as I am only 6 weeks along and the little tadpole (who we affectionately call McNugget because our last name is Macdonald) is in danger of everything. To be fair, it’s gonna be in danger or everything for a while, but i am waiting till I am 12 weeks along to officially announce that there’s a little McBun in my McOven.

It is hard to describe the feeling I felt when I found out. I started crying right away. I couldn’t believe it. I felt equal parts scared and excited. Also – despite of wanting the pee stick to give me two lines for so long – I was a little disappointed. I was finally on a strong career path and all my ducks were in a row. I started feeling sad thinking of what might not happen because of this baby and immediately got mad at myself because….it’s me. The ride is still there, now we’ve just increased the number of passengers that are coming along.

I think it comes from a place of not getting what I wanted. Two years ago when my husband and I started trying to have a baby we were SO ready to be parents. We thought the place we were in our lives then was great and perfect for starting a little family but it didn’t happen. And for 24 months it didn’t happen. and pee stick after pee stick disappointed and saddened me to the point where I couldn’t even TALK about the fact that we were trying to have a baby or I would burst into tears. Doctor’s have been telling me since they could that it would be a rare thing for me to conceive and that if I did manage it, it would most likely end in a miscarriage. Nice doctors, right? Helpful right? 10/10 would recommend, yeah?

No. These assholes (they were a few of them) did nothing but scare me to death. While true that it was painfully difficult to conceive, no one offered me a solution, help or even a sympathetic glance when I came asking about ways to combat what nature had given me.

Turns out, that I have a heart shaped uterus. It sounds adorable, but it’s an abnormality that is formed in utero and makes pregnancies VERY difficult. Because it’s in the shape of a heart, this affects the way a baby hangs out in the uterus and when it’s bigger it affects the way the baby lays when it’s time to go into labor. Because of this a lot of women in my condition experience late-term miscarriages and if they’re lucky and can go to 40 weeks – breech babies. But wait, there’s more, I also have an upside down uterus or something. I don’t know the technical term but I know it’s in the wrong position.

The stars did not align when my reproductive organs were made. So after 2 solid years of giving it our best shot, we stopped trying. We moved to this new place. Signed a crazy expensive lease and focused on our goals. We decided we would revisit the baby thing later.

So I guess the best way to describe how I felt when I found out was – mad. Why now? Why crush my hopes for 2 solid years and only to give me what I’d been wishing for after I stopped wishing? Just when I was losing weight, being an awesome vegan and kicking butt at my career. Just when everything was absolutely perfect.

The truth is that my “whys” don’t matter. It doesn’t matter why it happened now, it matters that it happened. and how LUCKY am I? I think 2 years is nothing compared to what other women wait. I think I lucked out really hard and even though I was only mad for a few seconds after I found out, I feel a tad guilty about it.

I don’t think it’s the most popular thing to feel out there, but it’s how I felt, and I believe in not hiding your feelings. I believe in feeling how you feel in the moment that you feel it and working through it afterward.

After I felt mad I felt incredibly happy. Then I felt incredibly scared – what if this was a cruel joke and the test was a false positive? So i did what anyone would do – pee on more sticks. The next day I got myself a new two-pack of tests and surprise- they were also positive.

I knew this was it and it was time to tell the hubs! So that night when I got home I did a little reveal and boy was he excited! He’s SO ready to be a dad. He immediately jumped into learning everything he could about pregnancy and it’s so stinking cute.

The following week we told our parents and there were tears of joy everywhere. They knew that we had been struggling to conceive and are so happy for us.

I’m so beyond excited…and nervous. I’m worried I will be one of those women that has a late-term miscarriage, but if that happens it happens and I have to accept that I can’t do anything about it. I will be devastated of course…but it’s in God’s hands. These days I’m trying real hard to stay positive and optimistic and not puke every 5 seconds.  Morning sickness is no joke.

Needless to say, a lot of my goals have been…delayed. We aren’t going to Italy this year, but with a lot of luck, we may go on the best adventure yet.

Talk soon

Dai

 

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Leveling Up: Day 7

I’m going to have to think of a better title for these blog posts but i am a one-track mind lately so the less i have to think about the better I function. Sorry, they’re kind of boring.

Okay first of all i gotta say – wow. I’m really glad that my method for this madness is me hitting that publish button immediately after I finish writing. I’m also sorry if you’ve read day 6 or earlier- these entries are an English major’s worst nightmare. I just re-read them. EEK.

I will try and be better about my mistakes, but I really don’t want to give you false hope here, so I’ll be honest, at 6 am when I’m writing all that matters to my brain is that i type and words come out. Apparently, it doesn’t care about the order, the spelling or even that it’s the correct word for that sentence. So I apologize and totally understand if you want nothing more to do with my blog.

There is ONE good thing about me going back to re-read these entries though. See, the reason i love this system so much is that when i write I get to empty my brain of all the thoughts and stress i am experiencing at that moment. I write and through that, my thoughts go on here and leave my mind in peace and then i completely forget everything. So needless to say, I don’t remember the last thing I wrote. It doesn’t help that I am also half asleep most of the time.

But that being said, I didn’t think I would go back and re-read my posts till much later in my journey and that’s because it’s only day 7. I just don’t feel like there could be any difference. I don’t feel like I could’ve made a dent yet. I’m glad to say i was wrong.

In my first post i talk a little about being depressed. Which -if you know me – that’s a bit of a rarity. I like to joke that i’m too busy to have time for depression and that’s because i tend to take on way tooooo much and then i get stressed and well you know how it is. But as I read through my first post i realize that in 7 days i’m totally changed. i’m not trying to say i cured my depression here, because i never went to the doctor for this depression, it was just me feeling out of whack and down, so who’s to say my so called depression was even real or medically significant. Well not me. So I don’t want to imply that depression can be cured in 7 days by going vegan or anything like that.

I can say though, just going off how I feel on day 7 versus day 1, that it has made a dent.

That makes me SO happy. I – for some stupid reason – have this idea in my head that for something to be effective it has to be executed a certain way for a certain acceptable amount of time. It’s weird and such a flawed thought. Sure, eating a bite of kale once isn’t going to make you bikini ready, but to just assume that 7 days of hard work towards accomplishing something did nothing…is very wrong. Every day i work towards my goals is a significant day, even if it’s for a short period of time.

I think a lot of us have this idea that we can’t work on something until we can only work on that thing.

I’ve been meaning to start this book but I haven’t had the time

I’ve been wanting to write this letter but I’m just so busy

I want a bubble butt but I don’t have any avocados at home. 

(that last one may only make sense to me, but I’ll explain it. It’s because for some reason people with an awesome butt that they worked hard at the gym to get, are always drinking green juice. Seriously. Go to Instagram. I promise – EVERY. SINGLE. PICTURE. if they’re not posing with one leg slightly bent in a way that shows off their butt and holding a glass of green juice in their hands, they are just not living I guess. Anywho- avocado is green and I assume sometimes may even go in green juice)

The point is that if you chip at it every day, every day you’re accomplishing a part of your goal. Not everything has to be accomplished in one sitting.

I think sometimes we forget that. At least I do.

Today I did not work on my goals. I did not wake up early or do the miracle morning. I slept in. I then felt bad the rest of the day, but decided to still do something. I still ate healthy and stayed vegan. I still saved money by bringing lunch to work and i am still writing my blog entry.

I feel like i let myself down today. Because sleeping in isn’t going to pay my bills, or make me a better speaker, or help me change the world. But tomorrow is a new day and I will get back on track.

So tune in tomorrow, to see if I get my Sh*t together

Dai

Leveling up day 6

Today I only have four minutes so I’m going to make this one Quick. I’m also writing on my iPad so please excuse what will provably be a ton of errors.

So I’ve lost a little over 5 pounds so far. I’m really excited about it.

I don’t think I’ve really shared my process here, so I’ll try and detail it. I have a ton of goals this year and I do believe I can accomplish them. None do I feel are too difficult or unattainable for me, which is the biggest mistake people tend to make when setting goals.

I also have a word of the year: Level Up (yeah I’m a bit of a rebel and chose two words.)

So to make sure that I am completing and attacking my goals daily, I follow the miracle morning routine. It’s a great routine outlined in an awesome book called the miracle morning by Hal Elrod. I highly suggest you check it out if you’re into that kinda stuff.

Basically I’ve never been a morning person, but I can’t deny that for me, the few hours after I wake up are my most productive hours. I just don’t feel like doing anything when I get home from work, you know?

Anywho everyday my routine is this:

I get up 1 hour to 1 hour and a half earlier than I normally would to get ready for work. For me that means 6 or 6:30 am (not too bad, really) and in order to be able to do this without going back to sleep I have to set my alarm clock way out of my reach. It’s really the most important thing here, otherwise I would never get up honestly. I live that snooze life till there’s no tomorrow. Waking up even a minute earlier than I’m supposed to makes me cringe but hey, i gotta do it.

And yeah this includes weekends too. It sucksssssss

But it has undeniably helped. The key to making this a success though isn’t the fact that you are waking up just an hour earlier, it’s what you do in that hour that counts.

I used to think morning people were crazy. I used to think that it was such a waste of a perfectly good sleep, but that’s because if i were to wake up early, i never had a plan of what to do with that time, so of course i felt like it was a waste.

These days my morning routing consists of 6 activities:

-Sit in Silence/Meditate

-Affirmations

-Visualization

-exercise

-reading

-writing

I divide up my 1 hour between these 6 things and it really helps get my day off to a great start. And you may be thinking how it all ties together into my goals. It looks vague just from that list but it does tie together. Sitting in silence is a rare commodity these days and It’s a great way to start your day without stress. It’s also why it’s important to get up early, as often times that means you’re up before others and the house is silent, allowing you to not be distracted.

When i wrote my affirmations, i also wrote them a specific way. While most people write them as : “I am a great writer, I am a millionaire, I am as successful as Oprah” etc I wrote them as ” I am committed to becoming a great writer by spending 20 minutes a day writing down my thoughts.”

Now those are just examples, snot my actual affirmations, but I hope it helps to illustrate the difference. The first way of doing it is a lie. You are not a great writer yet, and you know that. So you can’t fool yourself, but you can reinforce your commitment to becoming a great writing by identifying actions you would take to do so.

I also have a mood good I use for my visualization portion. It has all the things I want to do, feel or have this year or in coming years. I don’t look to much towards the future, because i know it can change in ways i can’t imagine, but there’s things on it like a house, trips i wanna take, and a focus on my notebook business.

Now the reading part is important. It’s not there so you can just read anything and get away with it. This isn’t middle school, you can’t just show up with a random book to class. To be effective it has to be a book that helps you accomplish a goal. A lot of times we complain how we don’t have time to read and you know what I’ve learned? WE have time to read. If you spend even just a minute reading everyday, depending how fast you read that can be a page or 2 pages you read every day and you can be done with an average book in no time. It’s not about finding the time to do, but about breaking down a task into a manageable timeline. No said you had to read for hours.

And finally writing. This blog is my writing portion and it’s also part of my Leveling up process. I use it to keep me accountable because i hit publish immediately after i finish, which actually gives me a sort of mini panic attack because omg its out there in the world to see. Because of this though, i feel like i am honor bound to write. I don’t know if someone is reading it or not, and that helps me to keep going. I feel like you are all keeping me accountable.

In terms of leaving up, i have a deadline each month. By then end of the month it have to have taken an online course, class or done something that has helped me level up in business, as a manager, or as a speaker. So whether that is giving a speech, going to a conference or taking an online class about learning how to be a better manager, I have to do that by the end of the month each month. It’s gotta be something different every month as well.

Well, that’s it! That’s how i do my thangs.

I have way surpassed my writing time and am totally late for other things. Well thanks for stopping by or not. See ya tomorrow for another exciting installment of “is this the day Dai falls off the wagon or not?” The suspense is killing me.

Leveling up – Day 5

Oh hiiii i’m back

i took a hiatus over the weekend which i’m not supposed to do, but i’m okay with it.

This past weekend was my mother’s 50th birthday and we celebrated in such a weird but totally her way, it was really fun. She had a lot of fun, which is what really matters.

I can’t remember if I posted this in the last entry but I lost 3 pounds so far. Yay! My goal is 2 a week so, so far so good! Now i just need to keep it up and i really feel like i will this year.

Much like in the godfather, I made myself an offer that I couldn’t refuse.

If I reach all my goals this year – both personal and weight goals, I will reward myself with a trip to Seattle. It probably won’t be a long trip, like a weekend or something, but I am so excited! I’ve been wanting to visit Seattle for at least 5 years. I even considered seriously moving there. I actually told my husband on our first date that I didn’t want to be dating anyone seriously because i really wanted to move to Seattle. He surprised me by saying “oh wow me too” and we haven’t been apart since. Kinda crazy to think about the fact that we also never moved to Seattle tho. Stupid movies and LA being the movie capital of the world and my husband pursuing his dream of becoming an actor. Lammmeeeee

Time’s up – but basically, I’ve been doing well. Veganism is awesome. Not kicking my ass (although it’s a bit difficult to be around mac and cheese right now.) Other than anything, what i feel is just a serious focus. Idk if it’s the fact that i’ve been taking vitamins or what, but I just feel very focused on my goals and i LOVE that feeling.

Ps- we found our next apartment! It’s in Glendale and we can’t wait to move in about a month! It’s a level up for sure. 😉

 

Leveling Up – Day 3

What a difference 2 days can make.

I feel like I had a breakthrough yesterday guys. It’s true what they say about the mental energy a thought can take up in your mind.

My husband and I started a theatre company with our two besties in 2018 and we had an amazing time. It was stressful as all heck, but we had a great time. We put on a show and two fundraisers last year. We had plans to do a second show but it didn’t pan out. Creative differences happened between our writer and ourselves and so we had to let that go.

It was fine. But due to the stress of that and our jobs, my husband and kind of feel like we’re not getting anywhere. It’s not quite a business and it’s not quite a hobby but it was becoming a full-time job when it was meant to be a fun thing. We felt guilty about having these feelings o wanting to leave the company because it is helping so many people and we want to help a ton of people. There’s not a whole lot of places you can go to in L.A or the O.C that will cast you as an actor if you don’t look a certain way – skinny, white, tall, male. The Misfits Theatre Company is not like that. It never was like that. Our goals when we started was to bring the community together with every show by having a community contribution program and to showcase actors that are so talented but get overlooked because they’re not the “right look.”

The Misfits is a place anyone can go regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. It’s regardless of bias. We care about one thing- talent. You’ve got it? You’re in.

It’s simple, and it works. We got RAVE reviews on our first show with word of mouth compelling people who didn’t go to reach out to us to tell us they heard about our show and were sad they missed it. It was amazing! So the guilt we felt ran pretty deep. We didn’t wanna even talk about leaving this community of amazingness, but last night we had a board meeting and my husband and I finally shared these doubts we’ve had about staying. We’re in the middle of putting together a show right now, so we’re committed to that, but afterwards, we’re going to take a look at and evaluate the board. I may be stepping down. It was a tough conversation to have last night but a necessary one. I don’t get the same enjoyment out of this as everyone else. I’m not helping to build a theatre company, I’m helping to build more of a theatre club (because that is more of what the CEO wants it to be) and I know me and all the effort I am putting in isn’t to build a club. I also don’t get any fulfillment from that. I’m not an actor and i have no intention of being one, so while the other board members are and get fulfilled by being part of this while being on stage, I don’t get that same payoff. To me it’s a chore. and i explained that and they understood.

And after our long talk, i felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me. It was great. and this is where the breakthrough happened.

I was taking a shower when suddenly an idea came to me for the business I am creating. A brilliant idea. I was thinking about purpose and asking myself tough questions about my business. What is going to make it different? Why would people care about it? Why would i care about it? Is it a hobby or a business? And most importantly of all – am i passionate about this?

It all came to me in the form of a product I can sell that I would be passionate about and would help others at the same time. It was sparked by an interview I had listened to yesterday morning about business getting involved in social change. It was with the founder of Tom’s Shoes. And he said something that really stuck with me. He said it was never about the shoes, it was about giving. The shoes were a means to an end. And that really resonated with me.

It’s not a fleshed out idea, so I’m not gonna talk about it here just yet, but needless to say, I am very EXCITED.

And I don’t think i could’ve come to that had i not made the space for it mentally and energy wise. Had I kept my feelings of guilt and worry about letting my fellow board members down to myself, I would’ve never had enough mental energy to think about the new possibilities and new ideas in my business.

I knew my dreams and goals weren’t the same as our CEO’s when she said that she would easily burn the midnight oil to work on things for the theatre company with a smile on her face. I wouldn’t. and that leads me to a quote i once read: “if you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it” because that’s the kind of thing one burns the midnight oil for.

It’s what your daydreams are made of.

Well, I’ve spent a great deal of time on this and I’m running late for work now hahaha.

TTFN

Day 2 Of Leveling Up

Hi, I’m back. That’s a good sign, right?

Today I woke up kind of late. In truth, I woke up on time to do my miracle morning, but I like to wake up and hour and a half earlier because it can take me a bit of time to be awake, but I think I forgot to set my alarm last night which sucks.

My MIL has been with us since last night and It adds on a layer of challenge, she keeps talking to me when I am trying to focus.

I never realized how much silence I need to do this , but it’s cool. I will need to let her know what my routine is so that i can actually do this because i am not waking up 3 hours ahead of schedule just to get silence.

Although, we are looking at an awesome apartment here in Glendale that looks promising and it’s got some recreational spaces for us to use and it may be just the ticket for our focus. I hope we get it.

In terms of feeling, I feel okay, grumpy, but okay.

Oops, times up!

The Art Of Leveling Up

It’s day 2 of 2019 and I am back to basics.

My word of the year is Level Up and while it’s ironic and kind of follows suit with my last word of the year, I really love it.

So here I am – crazy to think that I am back to the place I was 2 or 3 years ago. I started the Miracle Morning routine again today and am really trying to be that morning person.

I honestly don’t get how people can do this, I care so much about my sleep, it’s insane. I think it’s me trying to enjoy sleep before I have any kids, but I don’t know. The last couple of days has been pretty bad though, sleep-wise. Either I’m depressed or my hormones are out of whack because I’ve been sleeping far too much. I’ve been sleeping like 12 hours a day and I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done. While I hate looking back, I do kind of regret wasting any time in my day but lately, that’s what I’ve been doing and it sucks. It’s the most precious resource and all that time I wasted I won’t get back.

Anyways, I’m trying to find the good in my early mornings since we’ll be getting very acquainted for a while. It’s really nice to be able to wake up and just be present and not have this mad rush of time. It’s nice to be able to take time to do things and not have to be constantly looking at the clock.

I also think it’s nice to be able to have this purpose in my morning. It has been feeling like I don’t have one, which may be why I have had no energy or desire to wake up. I’ve been really sick recently, from what I feel is a flu or a cough, and I think that has contributed to my laziness and lack of wanting to do anything but I also think it goes deeper…i’m just sadder than normal. I just have a fog around my mind lately, like I’m happy at times and then just really aloof and introverted.

I also weighed myself yesterday for the first time in many many months and I’m at 193lbs. I’ve never been this heavy and I feel horrible. I mean I am pushing 200 lbs and that is a bit horrific. It’s not healthy and I think it’s having a horrible effect on my physical and mental health. So yesterday I sat down and wrote out a plan for helping myself get on track and finally reach my weight loss goals. I’m committed to losing 2 lbs a week (the recommended healthy amount) and if I stick to it, I’ll be my goal weight before the end of the year and I am SO excited for that!

Cookie my dog just came over asking to be petted and she just gave me another reason to look forward to getting up early – her. I never get to spend any time with this puppy in the mornings and now I’ll have plenty of time for cuddles with her.

Well, that’s all for day 1 I think. I’m looking forward to day 365 and I can’t wait for the day when I get to say I reached my goal.

TTFN

That Trendy Life Tho

Well, you may or may not know that I work for the craft company Sizzix, AKA Ellison Education. Sometimes I will write a blog or spend time on something that doesn’t see the light of day. Yeahhhhhh, that sucks. I spent a LOT of time on this blog and I’m really proud of the way it turned out so even though it’s not summer anymore, I’m going to publish it right here on my blog (don’t worry, I got the proper permission.)

I hope you enjoy the trends I forecasted this past Summer (maybe while sippin on your PSL 😉 )

Throw your sunnies on, because it’s O F F I C I A L L Y Summer! We can’t get enough of this season- school is out, the days are longer, there’s a ton of celebrations coming our way and oh, yes, Sizzix trends are here! Take a peek at our mood boards below to join in on this Summer’s hottest trends.

– GLITCH –

Good news- that rebel side of yours (and ours) is so in. Glitch is a trend that is near and dear to our hearts because as makers, we’re in a constant state of creative disarray. Playing with patterns, mediums and die cuts, we love nothing more than making, breaking and re-making to our heart’s content. Whether you’re layering on letters in a 3-D color distorting way or throwing in bits of iridescent fabric into your next creation – you’ll be right on trend, you little rebel you.

– NEON TROPICS – 

Talking about rebellious things, we’ve noticed a shift in our favorite tropical trend. While these leafy greens are still hot, hot, hot, we’ve noticed a little neon pop up. It doesn’t take much to add this trend to your repertoire and we are more than okay with that. Grab a little acrylic paint and take a walk on the wild side by heading outdoors for a little plants-piration to add to your next make.

– NEON SIGNS –

From bright plants to bright signs. It hit us as no surprise that in the Summer of 2018 bright neon colors would be trending but don’t get us wrong…this ain’t your typical OPEN sign. Much like a 90’s teen flick, neon has taken off its glasses and let down it’s hair…suprise, it was pretty cool all along! We are constantly feeling inspired by this serious glow-up. Neon is being used- from inspirational quotes to inspirational food (yum, pizza) to inspirational days (wedding vibes, yasss.) And with Heidi Swapp’s new DIY Neon Signs, it’s never been easier to get neon in your hands. The future and our makes sure look bright with this glowy trend.

– MOTIVATION –

It may not glow, but it sure makes us shine. Yes, inspiring words are a trend (and we hope it never goes away!) From sweet, brief sentences to single words that matter to you, this trend is all about crushing it on a feel-good level. What we love almost as much as this trend itself are all the creative ways to display these clever, comical and creative phrases. Letterboards, framed posters, and vinyl decals on walls are just a few of the fun ways you can make this inspiration trend your own because after all, #MakersGonnaMake.

– CALLIGRAPHY-

We did it, we have found a way to bring all those years of cursive practice at school back and we are so there for it. Taking motivational words to a-whole-nother-level is our last Summer trend – calligraphy! And just like the last four trends, expect this pretty handwriting’s transformation to blow you away with inspiration. These days you can spy a little calligraphy on almost anything – from wedding envelopes to bullet journals. As makers, we love the fact that we can add a handwritten touch to literally E V E R Y T H I N G.

Are you seeing these trends everywhere?  Let me know in the comments below

I Broke Up With My Lazy Good-For-Nothing Self (Part 1)

Nodding my head to a little bit of Marc Anthony’s “Vivir La Vida” I finally sit down with my favorite writers of Meetup, a group called “Shut Up, Sit Down and Write.” I open a laptop that has done nothing but collect dust for the last two weeks and stare at a New Post blank screen.

“I’m going to do it” is something I have said to myself every day since I got back.”Today is the day I finally sit back down to write”

Well, as my neglected blog knows, that has not happened.

Hey Ladies!!

I have missed you! I confess I returned from Cuba forever ago (about 2 weeks) and haven’t been able to fall back into my routine. Arg, me.

Why? You may ask? Well, a huge combination of things. I feel as if my week being sick right before I left and my week during Cuba was horrible for my routine but ultimately my biggest excuse is my day work.

As some of you may know, I am a Social Media/Marketing specialist. I know things. I handle social media accounts, build strategies, come up with ideas, write blog posts and evaluate stats. Oh, and I create social media images…like a gazillion of them. It’s exhausting but on top of that, I have these damn #goals for myself. Overachiever? No, its more like under-stressed-must-add-more syndrome.

Y’all, I really have missed you. Every day I look at my laptop from across the room and the song “Hello” plays in my head, just long enough for me to turn around and watch T.V.

Truth? I have been little miss lazy pile of bones these last 2 weeks. But I have a TON of updates for you and I am very excited (and happy to say) that I am breaking up with my lazy self.

I should probably pay some bills now, huh?  Maybe later.

Hey, I said I broke up with lazy me, not procrastinator me.

You want to hear a funny story? So, I have not stopped thinking about writing since I stopped. I even took a notebook with me to write ideas that came to me on the plane ride to Cuba (why do I always think that’s a good idea? I just slept.)

So onto the story, the other day I was driving, of all things, and I was thinking about myself literally writing and my hands moving over the keys as I typed and I swear, it got a little steamy in my head. I started to think “you know you’re a writer when you think of typed out words as a sexy time activity.” and I laughed so hard…by myself..in my car..at a stoplight…which would be embarrassing in the 1990s but is just fine today because everyone is just staring at their phones anyways.

So, yeah, sorry if that got weird. I hope we’re still cool. But if it did get weird, I can def. tone it down..when I’m dead (it’s a joke, meant to be funny…I hope we’re still besties.)

So I definitely want us to continue this conversation but I fear this post has already gone on forever and I care about your time. If you want to continue hanging out with me and reading all about mi semana en la Havana (my week in Havana) then you’re in luck because part 2 is going to be all about that…when I write it tomorrow.

If not, how has your week been? Good or bad, rant it out in the comments below. Slay it girl.

I love y’all and I hope to see you for part 2!